Within the heart, and the dream

"If the only place where I could see you was in my dreams, I'd sleep forever.."

"be well, always..."

Farther..

If only you were here I'd kiss you, if you're far I'll miss you.

You're not here after all. You've never been anywhere for me, to love me, after all..

Walking down the path that might be mine, that wouldn't be yours

Would love to wait for you, that would be stupid

Would love to stay loving you, that would be wrong..

But I've been all yours to begin with

I gave myself to you

And cared for you

Dreaming you'd come back, no..

Hoping you're doing ok

And I'd leave you

So you wont need to worry about me anymore

Hey you..,

I'm missing you

Half Crazy

"it was perfect when it was you"

Know I havent slept a week at all

since you've been gone

and my eyes are kinda tired
from crying all night long

know i've never been too good at cooking
just for one
it's so lonely here without you baby
come back home

coz i'm half crazy
feelin' sorry for myself
half crazy
worried you'd find someone else to love

know life hasn't been much fun at all

since you've been gone

and my eyes begin to feel
each time I hear a song

i spent every minute asking myself
what went wrong

can't we try to talk it over baby
come back home

coz I'm half crazy
i'm feelin' sorry for myself
half crazy
worried you'd find someone else

but baby there is no one else
half crazy
for everything you saying
half crazy
no one else could love you like i do..

so i'm half crazy

feelin' sorry for myself
half crazy
i'm worried you'd find someone else
but baby there is no one else

half crazy
for everything you saying
half crazy
no one else could love you

and no one else could ever be

half crazy
feeling sorry for myself
and I'm worried you'll find someone else
half crazy
feeling sorry for myself

worried you'll find someone else to love.. baby....

Wake up girl :)

Dear You

You must have heard they said "the first step to reach your dream is to wake up". And you cannot agree more. Although sometimes all you really want is just to sleep longer. Then they would say "the only way to win over your fear is to face and fight it again, and again". I second that. Do you? But then you would still prefer to sleep even longer..

My dream is to love and to be loved by the person I love.

I am in Love with my Illusion, I'm fantasying, and all I got is finding my heart broken.

It was never meant to be, but I tried, to still have the dream comes true.

In the end when the one's smile isn't yours anymore, what can you do..? You have done your part anyway.

You will find your closure. So do I.

As of now, you should wake up. So do I.

But it's still early, so I'm gonna sleep a little more.

Don't wake me up. I will know when to.

Ssh.. I just know. :)

Faking My Smile

"Hey.. are we ok..?"

There's a point of when you flew too high and fell too hard.

...bad.

When you let all in, to feel the beauty of your feelings

Finding yourselves addicted

Finding yourselves.. hurt

Sitting around, having these eyes on you, grabbing the moment that's fading away

And when sleeping is under the question.

Facing left side, turning to the right, it just doesn't work

Counting sheep?? Stupid.

When happiness means to make people you love, happy. I love you after all.

When you don't care about me, do I care about you? I care after all.

It's a silent dream when your dream is unspoken, yet not shown.

Insomnia. One more night.

It's morning. Yet again.

-
I Can't Sleep
by. Martina McBride

I can't sleep for dreaming about you
When you're gone there's nothing I can do
But lie awake alone and dream the whole night through
I can't sleep for dreaming about you

And see your face
I hold my pillow tight
And dream of your embrace
I know I could use the rest
But my lonely heart cries out for your caress

I can't sleep for dreaming about you
When you're gone there's nothing I can do
But lie awake alone and dream the whole night through
I can't sleep for dreaming about you

They say absence makes a love grow stronger
But I don't believe my empty arms can hold out any longer

I can't sleep for dreaming about you
When you're gone there's nothing I can do
But lie awake alone and dream the whole night through
I can't sleep for dreaming about you
I can't sleep for dreaming about you

-

I Got Pen in My Hand

You Got a Mail!

Hi love,

How are you doing? Good?

Wondering whether you're still having those lovely words as you used to have or being lame'ish that then l would think you're becoming the cutest.

Haha.. Sorryy. I'm just missing you. :)

So.. Right now, I'm just here writing.

Back into my silent moments.

Difference is that sometimes back then I used to love being alone in the moments, but now, I would prefer being at some drugs store with all the sick people waiting for medicines than to stay here.

...

I wonder what changed me. Or the moments.

Anyway hey.. It's such a windy day

It still feels the same dear

I mean the wind, um.. I mean..

..I don't know why but.. the day was ours

And my feeling is still the same

Maybe that's why.

Haha.. Now I'm hating songs that would make me think of you

But I kinda like them too. They got nice words

Those that could make me feel as if you're here..

If only you were here.

I should not sigh over things here.

You wouldn't like it

But who cares.. as if I was liking the moment you got unreasonably mad at me anyway.

It's just crazy why I would still care for you.

Stupid kid.. I thought you would've known why.

"Why don't you just hug me

and just listen carefully"

It hurt dear

And still does...

I need you somewhere that my eyes could see

and my arms could reach

Because really..

You are already everywhere within me

Stay in..

It's all ok..

Sleep tight

Goodnight

---

Me

"When you missed some parts, even a good movie wouldn't end nicely, yet you would keep guessing about what happened in the middle of the movie. And as if you wouldn't be able to watch it again, think how you would feel."

I lost my magic compass. Should I wait for the sun?

Dee called me up last night

It was so late at night I could barely open my eyes..

She said that she's broken down.

So.. Couldn't say no I started listening to her. Oh my poor eyes..

...

"There was this person, to whom I used to hold on whenever I had problems or simply needed a good chat.. a good laugh.

He would be there when I need any kind of suggestion, I would run to him whenever I need good advises..

He then would hug me when I breakdown.. and kiss my forehead just to calm me down.."

"I.. idolized him in many ways. Right from the start.
He's a good man and one day he would make a good husband and a good dad." She said.

"I have seen how he smiled when he talked about a girl he likes and
how excited he was, running toward baby of his friends' to kiss his cheeks."

Haha man she sounds pretty sure.. and funny.

"Come on.. I miss him girl. You know he would sometimes buzz me up just to say that he was drunk or something. Hehe. I definitely miss our casual talks.. Even our fights. You have no idea how many times we would fight over things."

"I miss his smiles.. :)"

"And.. for a little of time back then, I thought those smiles were mine. That, well, maybe not.
He was not feeling the way I was when he comforted me..
Although he knew that I wasn't able to sleep then when I came to him, I would be able to rest.
Now here I am all alone again. And I'm still awake."

"He's been in love with someone else.
A good girl I won't find a single bad thing about.
He's now off my sight anyway..
Enjoying wherever he belongs.
I don't like acting as if I'm strong.
I'm pretty much sad that I would cry every single night for missing him."

"Though I could feel him
For him, It was never me..
I could speak about anything when I'm with him
I mean he's just that right..
He's surely got enough of me to break my heart like this..
And he just did. He left."

"Yeah..

I lost him. :-)"

And no matter how far I go here writing,

Or pretending as it was someone else's story
I don't think I would be able to get rid of my feelings..
So I think I'll just leave it like this...

Have a good night everyone..